The Power of Shame
Your face pools down into your hands. Your body seeps into your feet.
Shame is the feeling that shakes you down.
But it can lift you back up.
I recently graduated, which meant that I have sent out quite a few invitations to family members. However, when they ask what I've studied, I hesitated. Eventually, I let them know that I studied Media Production, Management, and Technology, but I always emphasize "technology."
As though that one word will make me more admirable. I also never dare to reveal that my minor in college was Theatre. I noticed this after the third time, and I've been thinking about it ever since. There's a high chance, you've done something similar in your life: diminished your accomplishments, lied about a passion, etc. We do it out of protection, to guard the part of our hearts that we don't want people to know.
I was frustrated with myself at first and for good reason. I've worked my entire life to reach this point in my academic career, yet I'm still not proud. But instead of bringing myself down, I've decided to appreciate the shame.
Shame forces us to reconcile with what we truly care about. To me, I care about my craft a lot. I am beyond thankful that I found what I love. I'm thankful I finally let the little girl in me who loved entertainment and acting fully shine. If I hadn't done that I would've never accomplished as much as I did these past four years. I wouldn't have gotten awards and scholarships. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to see my father tear up after watching me perform as the lead in a play. If I'm being honest, I probably wouldn't have finished college.
Now, it's not easy or even safe sometimes to be your most honest self, but it's important to try. It's a journey and one that I have just barely begun. But I believe it'll have immense benefits in the long run. You don't want to stop yourself from getting everything you deserve in life.
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